Bad dreams

Time  13.23.  Current mood: Anxious, stressed.

We've all had dreams good or bad, sometimes we have dreams that bother us, some that stick in our minds, and some that leave us with a strong sense of anxiety. Last night I had one such dream and it left me feeling very anxious so much so that I cant clear it from my mind, maybe I shouldn't have looked up its meaning.

As I write this all I can remember is my car being stolen and me walking across a potholed-filled muddy car park looking for it without any success, obviously there was a lot more to the dream but this is all I can remember.

There were a few meanings attached to the dream, unfortunately, all negative, but the one that is causing me this anxiety is "a failed relationship". A while back Dawn and I had a bit of a bust-up, leaving both of us angry with each other, thankfully we patched it up and we now seem to be back to our old selves. Now I can't get this bloody awful feeling out of my head that our relationship might end!

I can't walk very well, or at all without any kind of walking aid, I cant help out in the garden, in fact, there's not much I can do physically, and an almost permanent feeling of helplessness and anxiety is definitely not helping my mental health either but I try to stay upbeat, which is not easy.

Christ! I don't know what I'd do without Dawny, although she looks out for me and totally understands my reduced mobility she doesn't make a fuss 'cos I really wouldn't like that. 

As I wrote in a previous blog, there are things that have happened in the past twelve months or so that have almost pushed a wedge between us and I know Dawn has had a lot of stress and tension to contend with but I'm determined it's not going to destroy our relationship.

Time 13.50  Stilled filled with anxiety