Someone up there has got it in for me it seems

 Another day goes by and still no news from the hospital as to when my hip will be done, it's so bloody frustrating! As each week goes by the less I can do, the less distance I can walk, and now it's becoming increasingly painful just to drive any distance.

I feel like I'm being sucked into a bottomless pit of despair and nobody gives a shit, as I put in a previous blog, that sense of being alone is returning, which starts me overthinking stuff!

Last weekend Dawny and I fell out, and yes it was her fault even though I shall be looked on as being the villain here. Dawny has, for the most part, got a heart of gold, for what she's done for me since my walking has become worse I can't thank her enough, she's been an absolute angel, I really don't know where I'd be without her but...

Yes, there's always a but isn't there? For all the good in her, she has a cynical, sarcastic, nasty side to her, where she can be so annoying with her nit-picking (for want of a better way of putting it).

We all say something derogatory about someone sometime in our lives, and last week I was doing such a thing about a neighbour, and everything I said about him Dawny's response was invariably, "So are you," or "So did you," and this isn't just a one-off, she's been like that ever since I've known her. At first, I shrugged it off, then over the years it became irritating, now it just becomes bloody annoying, if I'm as bad as that then why the hell is she still with me? Just because I got annoyed with her comebacks and told her so she has now been sulking for five days and counting. She accused me of dishing it out but not being able to take it. Not true! But when I get the same shit time and time again it then becomes boring, irritating, then eventually downright bloody annoying. Grrrrrrrr!!!

I've had a reasonably good life, yea there's been a few bad bits as we all get. Apart from Mum and Yvonne passing away, marriage breakup, and what could've been a lifetime of belittling put-downs from my Dad, it's not been too bad. Sometimes I think to myself is it really worth going on anymore?